


Grief is a Guest of Honour

by voxnihili



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Massacre, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-03-22 13:11:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3730192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voxnihili/pseuds/voxnihili
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Itachi's and Sasuke's parents are murdered over night. Shisui feels like there's nothing more natural than for him to foster the orphans. Though, he never thought it would be this complicated, nor this exhausting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Shisui had always thought that Itachi was the most special child.

It amazed him how much he had to concentrate to keep up with the small, agile body he was sparring with. It was something he was reminded of again as he not a split second too late blocked the leg swung at him.

Itachi had only turned nine, and was already the strongest link in his own team, even if the other teammates were four years older than him.

Itachi sure was something to wonder about.

Shisui caught the ankle, planning to pin Itachi down, but it turned out to be a big miscalculation on his behalf when Itachi used the leverage and spun his other leg around, the foot connecting to Shisui's jaw.

It didn't hurt. At least not as much as he was used to, sparring a lot with other people, who'd take the advantage and really burrow their feet in Shisui's face.

But Itachi had always had a gentle spirit, had always resented violence.

That's what made Itachi so special.

But that's also why Shisui so wanted to protect him, people always took advantage of those who were kind.

This time was no exception either, Itachi left an opening for Shisui to really hurt him if he had wanted to. To teach Itachi where he had gone wrong, Shisui grabbed the other ankle and spun Itachi around like the kid he was, until he let go of the mass.

It wasn't as if Itachi would get extremely hurt when he connected with the ground, the little he weighed, and besides, pain was a great teacher.

Even if the weather was still warm and humid, the cold breeze made his sweaty body shiver, a constant reminder of just how worked up this nine year old brat could make him.

"Enough for today," Shisui declared, watching how the said nine year old brat scrambled around on the ground to get up to sit, brushing the colourful autumn leaves off his body, the scent of earth having risen now that Itachi had disturbed the layers of foliage.

Even if Itachi was incredibly gifted, and the prodigy everyone claimed him to be, Shisui knew that behind the facade he was still a child.

The boy only just having returned from a mission, he didn't see why Itachi would have to be pressured like this. It wasn't what Itachi needed.

And even if Itachi's physical prowess was something Shisui admired, it wasn't the only reason why Shisui thought of him like the most special kid.

"If you had kicked me harder, this wouldn't have happened," Shisui smiled, extending a hand down towards Itachi, who refused it and instead lied down at the moist ground.

"It was only sparring," Itachi said, his features calm and relaxed, eyes closed and a small smile grazing his features. He was always graceful, even if he'd just been spun around and thrown only moments ago. Shisui followed him down, sitting next to him.

No, the carefree atmosphere they shared was something that made Shisui really think of him as special.

Itachi was his best friend, even if he only was nine years old.

And that spoke for itself, because Shisui had never had difficulties making friends. He had lots of them, but no one he wanted to spend time with more than with Itachi.

"You're right," Shisui said, knowing not to start to argue with the stubborn boy. It was too beautiful a day to ruin with arguments like that, he thought, as he watched the colours painted upon the treetops.

However, he grabbed a fistful of rotting leaves, dropping them down on the unsuspecting face of Itachi, laughing at how that small child surfaced and protested.

Itachi definitely made him happy.

 

      Itachi had missed this a lot, he sentimentally thought as he slurped the noodles his mother had cooked for him. Shisui had followed him home, and they'd been greeted by an overenthusiastic Sasuke, who by now knew that Itachi had no more excuses not to play with him.

Besides, as Itachi learned, Sasuke hadn't seen Shisui in a while either.

So Shisui stayed over dinner, spending most time talking to Sasuke who was never satisfied with less than all attention. It didn't bother Itachi, the familiarity made him smile and relax. He didn't need to participate in any conversations, just listening to Sasuke bothering Shisui with whatever was more than enough.

He never realized how far away from home he'd been with this mission. He missed his father's pride, his mother's warmth. He missed everything about Sasuke, and most of all, he missed Shisui's understanding.

Being on missions was something Itachi didn't enjoy. It was duty, yes, so he did what he had to. But all that didn't include duty, that is the travelling, the "bonding", was something incredibly anxiety-filled for Itachi.

The age differences seemed to create too great gaps between him and his teammates, and to top it off they met him with cold resentment he was too young to understand.

He always felt so alone, and he always wished Shisui would be there with him, even if he at times could make Itachi feel like an idiot.

He wasn't allowed to be alone with his thoughts for much longer, Shisui leaving and Sasuke dragging him outside as if he was a dog on a leash. Normally he'd tell Sasuke to wait, to let the stomach rest, but he'd been away from home for so long and couldn't deny his brother from happiness.

And that was all forgotten when they got enrolled in a game of tag, the laughter soothing to Itachi's ears, the streets filled with life and rumble, something he hadn't heard on his mission.

As they were catching their breaths, the noise much more distant for Itachi now, the neighbour's cat was caught sneaking in the cool shadows of the fence.

Even if they were strictly prohibited to feed the cat, Itachi was ready with meat and luring the cat closer. He had never seen why it was such a wrong thing to do, the cat obviously enjoyed a treat while Itachi and Sasuke could enjoy its company, a such joy of fur.

However, Sasuke was faster than Itachi was to think through, grabbing the cat who still was wary around his little brother, the angle uncomfortable.

"Sasuke, dont-" was all he managed to squawk, but it was far too late as he saw the blur of cat sprint away, up and over the face, hissing and shrieking ringing in his ears.

Sasuke started to cry, but it wasn't the panicked wailing he was used to hear. _Had Sasuke grown that much while I was away?_

He was quick on his feet to get to his brother, trying to assess the damage, which wasn't that serious. Still, something in Sasuke's voice found its way directly to Itachi heart and cut deep. He felt terrible, for not watching out for Sasuke.

"Shh, you're alright.." Itachi tried to comfort, but Sasuke's crying quickly evolved to cries after their mom. Itachi tried to shush him, knowing she would know what they'd been doing the second she laid her eyes on them. Itachi wasn't a child who thrived on being rebellious, no the thought made him shiver and his stomach churn.

Still, it was only a matter of seconds before Mikoto appeared by the porch, her eyes worrisome.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her small and nimble feet quickly carrying her over to them, bending down to caress Sasuke. Her worrisome eyes quickly changed to something more stern, something that Itachi confused with disappointment and anger.

"I told you not to feed the cat," she scolded, Itachi lowering his head in shame, Sasuke's crying still even. He wasn't disobedient on purpose, he just knew how much Sasuke wanted to get close to that cat.

"I'm sorry," he confessed, having nothing else to say. Apparently the honesty pleased Mikoto, her eyes softening and sending a smile directed at Itachi. She picked up Sasuke, his crying dying down to small hiccups.

"Promise me this was the last time," Mikoto asked of them, and Itachi could only nod as he followed them inside. They met Fugaku's questioning look on their way to the bathroom, but nothing verbal was shared between them.

"Now let's see," his mother said in her calamity, putting Sasuke down on the toilet seat. Itachi followed, still feeling incredibly guilty. She presumed to clean the wounds, adding bandages despite very vocal protests by Sasuke, but as she kissed it better he was healed as if by magic.

"I didn't mean to," he later confessed to Mikoto, trying to get rid of the guilt he kept feeling.

"Don't worry about it," Mikoto reassured with a smile, but Itachi wasn't relieved until Sasuke suddenly felt calm enough to speak again.

"Cats are meanies," he told them.

 

      Itachi's legs swung back and forth as he sat by the edge of Sasuke's bed, already dressed for the night, while Mikoto was tucking Sasuke in. Itachi was lost in thought, thinking of how Sasuke should learn to go to bed without his brother with him all the time. Especially that he heard earlier how difficult the evening ritual had become when Itachi was away on his mission.

Sasuke kept whining about the bandages, Mikoto trying to hush him, and Itachi knew he wouldn't be going to sleep in a long time. Not with Sasuke this impatient and restless. However, the fact wasn't bothering him as much as he thought it would have.

He looked through the window, rays of sunlight illuminating the red autumn leaves.

He listened to Sasuke bicker and Mikoto trying to soothe him, and Itachi smiled for himself.

Their peaceful moment was disrupted by some noise coming from further in their house. The sound that seemed to out of place had Itachi reacting immediately, his nerves still jumpy from that mission.

He tried to push himself off the bed to go look at what had happened, but Mikoto's hand stilled him. He sunk back on the bed, feeling real worry for the first time, a small seed growing in the pit of his stomach.

"You wait here, I'll go look," she smiled at him reassuringly, and Itachi couldn't do anything but nod, fists clenching the fabric of the sheets and legs stilling. He dared not look away from the doorway, trying to keep his senses on edge, to be prepared for anything.

His mother was a warming and soothing force, but even he could tell something was off.

"What was that, nii-san?" Sasuke asked, his voice quieter than normal.

"I don't know," Itachi truthfully answered, hoping it wasn't anything bad. Still, the more time he waited, the more it felt like it wasn't promising. He couldn't seem to shut his brain off, shifting on the bed as he couldn't do more but wait.

And when his mother returned, all warmth and smile gone, the seed of worry sprouted.

"Get up," she whispered hurriedly, and Itachi was on his feet immediately. She almost lifted Sasuke out of the bed, ushering them both further away from the bed and to the nearest closet. She opened it almost clumsily, something completely alien to Itachi, and he tried to grasp what was going on and figure something out.

Something, he should be able to figure out something.

Still, he was frozen to the spot, his mother getting down to her knees, pushing them both into the crammed closet, clothes draping them like shadows, making Itachi's skin crawl.

"Itachi, remember what we talked about?" she asked him, and Itachi's mind was wiped blank, adrenaline rushing through him and numbing out everything. He nodded, swallowing nervously. He could see the distress in her eyes.

He tried to fight the panic rising in his chest, slowly transforming into fear.

"Don't make any sound, do not come out no matter what," she said, her voice no longer calm. He blinked, nodding and grabbed hold of Sasuke who was uncertain, quiet. He wanted to say something, ask her, he even tried to think of something, anything coherent at all.

But before he could even register their position, his mother's clammy, cold hands grabbed hold of his cheeks, placing hurried kisses on his forehead, repeating the action to Sasuke.

"I love you," she said, giving no time for Itachi to answer as the closet door was shut, the last warm rays of light dying, leaving Itachi in the darkness with the shaky body of Sasuke.

He could hear himself breathe, as well as Sasuke. His hand clamped over Sasuke's mouth, the warm and moist air hitting his skin. It was almost unbearably quiet, and he tried to still his beating heart and racing thoughts. He had to pull courage from somewhere, he was a genin, he'd have to be brave before.

But he wasn't fooling himself, especially not when he heard unfamiliar voices in the room with his mother. They were too distorted to comprehend, but that only made his anxiety rise like a wave.

And then it was quiet. So quiet that Itachi wanted to weep, but ended up gasping lungfuls of air. Sasuke started to whimper by this point, and Itachi pulled him closer to himself.

"Let's play a game," Itachi suggested with fear poisoning his voice, finally understanding the gravity of the situation, remembering the talk Mikoto had asked him to. "Let's see who can be quiet the longest, ok?"

Sasuke never answered, and Itachi felt himself calm slightly. Still, he had to keep sucking in hushed breaths, trying to still his thoughts that were raging like a stormy sea. He felt so helpless, so guilty.

At some point, they both slid down soundlessly, things poking at their sides uncomfortably.

And his spinning mind then turned blank, and it scared Itachi to no end. He was the clan prodigy, they were all so proud of him, and now he was hiding in a closet when danger loomed.

He wept.

At some point, Sasuke fell asleep in his arms, and Itachi's body ached, every breath hurt, his chest constricted and tight.

He could see all kinds of scenarios in front of him, what had happened to his parents, what would have happened if he was brave, what might happen to Sasuke.

And then, his mind lulled itself by chanting mantras, finding promises to make, to feel less weak.

_Keep Sasuke safe, keep Sasuke safe, keep Sasuke safe.._

And then came the thoughts of what could have been done to prevent this, to find a reason why this would happen to him.

It was that cat's fault, everything was that cat's fault. They shouldn't have fed him, if Itachi had been obedient they wouldn't be here.

His train of thoughts were suddenly broken, his dulled senses awakened by footsteps. He could feel the breath catching in his throat, his heart racing so fast he thought it would stop any moment.

Now was the moment he had dreaded, and he activated his sharingan. He'd keep Sasuke safe, no matter what. And this time, he purposefully emptied and numbed his mind, and his emotions, ready for whatever was awaiting him.

But when the dreaded moment happened, the light that reached his eyes momentarily blinded him, sending him covering further back in the impossibly tight closet, frozen to the spot.

Why is he so afraid, so weak?

Sasuke woke up, startled, and he was no longer quiet.

"I found them!" Itachi could hear the male shout, sounding so distant even though he was hovering over them. The voice wasn't malicious at all, not what Itachi had expected, and as his eyes adjusted he noticed the jounin apparel.

They weren't enemies, but they weren't their parents either.

 

      Shisui was running through the house, footsteps barely audible to him as his heart was beating furiously and blocking out any other sound, even if the crowd filled house was eerily quiet. The house he knew so well seemed almost hostile, unfamiliar.

This didn't have to happen. This wasn't allowed to happen, not to small children. Especially not to someone innocent and pure as Itachi.

Immediately as the news reached him, being awoken in the middle of the night, he'd made it his top priority to reach the estate as quickly as possible.

However, it was apparent that there was nothing to be done when he arrived. He had only had so little time to glance at the scene in front of him. The bodies littered the floor in the kitchen, barely illuminated by the moon. It smelled foul, pungent.

He knew though, that the dead could wait. He had to find Itachi and Sasuke, he had to know if they were alive.

Reaching the room where he heard they had found the children, he almost knocked over a small body that so gracefully tried to slither around him, but he was faster and caught Itachi's squirming and protesting lithe body in his arms.

"Let go of me!" the boy demanded, Shisui not moving a muscle. His eyes scanned the crowded room, quickly finding Sasuke moving along the walls of the room, obviously distressed by the atmosphere and amount of strangers.

"Let me go!" came the second demand, his voice shattered and hurt, legs furiously kicking but Shisui felt the small tremors running through the body.

He was relieved they seemed unhurt. But even if the relief was there, it was tainted. He remembered his parents' death, and he remember well how that pain was more unbearable than anything physical.

"You don't want to see this," Shisui sighed, walking further inside the room to emphasize that he wasn't letting Itachi out of the room any moment soon. Letting go of the boy, he saw Sasuke quickly approach to seek comfort from behind Itachi, hiding behind him. Itachi's fists were clenched and he was shaking more by now. The anger in his eyes shifted to something absent, glossy and distant.

Shisui hadn't yet calmed down either, the shock still clouding his mind to think of any coherent plans but to wait for a new order and make sure Itachi wouldn't escape to go find his parents, knowing that Sasuke would follow as well. The scene was something he had to protect them from, the impact it'd have would be too much for Itachi to handle.

"Tell me," the shaky voice brought Shisui back to the present, his eyes flickering down to the sharingan glaring at him.

"What is there to tell?" Shisui asked, watching that usually composed face scrunch up in emotions Shisui found hard to read.

It reminded Shisui of his initial thoughts, why someone like Itachi would have to endure this.

"Why did they die!?" he yelled, Sasuke visibly flinching, pressing his face into Itachi's back.

Shisui was quiet for a while. He was clueless about how to approach Itachi, what Itachi needed right now, and what Itachi actually was asking.

"I don't know," he admitted truthfully though, and even if he knew that Itachi wasn't satisfied with an answer like that, he knew Itachi understood the situation.

Silence filled the room. Shisui could hear people shuffling about in other parts of the house, but no words were spoken. There was nothing to be said in a situation like this, almost as if saying anything would be a crime to be punished for.

Time seemed to pass with them just standing there, looking at each other.

Even though Shisui's heartbeat finally calmed down, the sickening feeling in his stomach was growing by every minute.

Irregular pants of breath hit and stroked his skin as he finally tried to embrace the boys. Their bodies were tense and fragile, Sasuke covering, and Itachi not returning the hug.

It was awkward, but Shisui didn't pull back. He knew Itachi was careful about physical contact, but he didn't see why Itachi would be hurt by it in a moment like this.

He held them until two Anbu came to fetch them to the hospital, to keep them somewhere until this mess was sorted out.

They were lead out carefully, leaving without any words, without any energy.

And Shisui was left standing with his thoughts, wanting to move but finding himself unable to.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be no sexual activities until the participants are at least 16, since that is the age of consent here. however, I tagged it as underage since the age of consent differs in countries and some may be uncomfortable with this.


	2. Chapter 2

Shisui watched the boys sleep soundlessly, through his own tired eyes. He felt almost awful, watching them sleep so peacefully, their bodies pale and worn, as if they were mere corpses. 

It was all Shisui could think of after what had happened.

He just reached the hospital, being exhausted beyond his limits. He'd been sorting out this mess ever since it happened, knowing that whatever came after was always the worst. His head spun lightly as he entered the tiny room where rays of sunlight shone through the curtains. That added to Shisui's anxiety, how the usually alert boy didn't even stir in broad daylight as someone entered their room.

Shisui felt the heartache numb his body as he thought of what horrors Itachi went through to end up like this.

To the right there were two beds, one which was unoccupied, presumably Sasuke's who was by now curled up next to his brother. Shisui approached the bed in silence, placing down his belongings next to the foot of it, and lied down on his back. He stared at the ceiling, deciding to give some time to organize his thoughts instead of waking the boys. They needed rest, and Shisui hadn't have time to think anything through, knowing he'd be required to any moment now.

He felt incredibly indecisive when it came to what actions he should take. He knew he'd have to keep his head cool no matter what, because the consequences of mistakes and bad decisions would demand a hefty price to be paid. Roused feelings shouldn't blind him, nor should his spiritual needs. He needed to keep his thoughts clear to help the boys with whatever he could.

And he really wanted to give the boys everything, but he was rather confused as to what everything meant.

But at the same time, he was well aware of the fact that something more sinister was going on, that needed attention. The execution had been clear, even though Fugaku and Mikoto were skilled ninja, and above that a whole village filled with skilled ninja had let the happenings go unnoticed.

Shisui was scared that if he didn't take any action someone else would be next, or he, or the worst of them all, Itachi and Sasuke.

He quickly pushed that thought back to whatever void it surfaced from, feeling his whole being shaking, stomach twisting and churning. He tried to calm himself with the thought that if Itachi and Sasuke had been targeted, the circumstances would have been very different from what they are now. It was clear they weren't involved.

But Shisui also knew that that didn't mean they never would be.

He emptied his mind for a moment, staring at the mint green colours of the hospital walls, the colour disgusting and nauseating. He was aware they were supposed to lighten the mood, but by now everyone associated these colours with hospitals. It, and the smell accompanied that stung in his nostrils, made him wish that he'd never have to be here again.

Besides the obvious thought of no one getting hurt, of course.

Shisui's thoughts drifted back to the Uchiha compound, which he'd noticed become rather hostile this morning. The negative energy seemed to latch onto everyone like a foul smell, and it was almost frightening walking down the streets. It was like a cornered animal, hissing and ready to lash out at the next one to approach.

Even if it was so quiet it felt unreal.

However, many were calm, asking after the boys and seemingly worried for them. Even auntie had given him a basket of fruit to bring to the boys, which was now placed by the bed.

But the rest of them seemed to have forgotten about the boys. The distrust blazed like fire, the thoughts of Itachi and Sasuke somewhere lost in there, and he could feeling it only growing as the rest of the village didn't try to extinguish it.

Wherever he went in the compound, in the midst of the silence he could hear all kinds of accusations, words of revenge, demanding justice, truth - even if it may not be the truth they wish for.

Everyone seemed to have come to an agreement in such a short notice that Danzo was behind it all. And Shisui felt shameful that he agreed, even if it was only to some degree. He wasn't ready to point fingers just yet, but somewhere in him he couldn't find any reason to try and defend the old man.

Not after the old man had been so open about his suspicions of the Uchiha, and even Shisui's bones shivered as he recalled the interactions he'd had with the council earlier.

They'd been reluctant to do much to help the boys. They'd even called off all investigations, leaving it to the police force which was now trying to rearrange itself after the loss of Fugaku.

Shisui felt angered as he remembered how they had done nothing to help him when his parents had died in the war. He wondered where this village's true intentions lied, not caring of the next generation that was inevitably the village's future.

Even if Shisui had protested, they'd been bent on having Itachi bounce back to missions immediately. Which felt ridiculous for Shisui. Luckily, he'd been even more stubborn, and demanded that they found a replacement for Itachi. And he'd convinced them to do so, even if he'd only upped his amount of work in the end.

And he felt stupid for leaving even less time to be there for Itachi and Sasuke. He'd been mostly alone when his parents died, and even if the support of his clan and little Itachi had been there, he never had that someone. He truly wished he could be that someone for those two, that rock that would keep them at bay.

He sighed, eyes shifting to watch the objects of his thoughts, that he just couldn't rid off, feeling so relieved that they were there, unharmed.

There was going to be a clan assembly later, and Shisui was really fearful. He knew it'd be a big commotion, and chaotic. He'd definitely have to go, to see whatever they'd decide, knowing no matter what it'd affect him and the boys greatly.

The situation was so incredibly fragile.

He really wished they wouldn't do anything foolish.

 

      Shisui's whole body jerked in distress as he aggressively was pulled out of sleep, the stress from earlier making him almost positive that he was under attack. He took a sharp intake of breath and shot his eyes open, sighing out of relief as he watched the tiny body bounce on the bed. "Shisui-nii!"

"Kami, don't scare me like that, Sasuke," Shisui breathed out, rubbing his temples in attempt to make the tension in his body disappear. Meanwhile he closed his eyes, trying to get his racing heart to calm down.

He was never supposed to fall asleep, but apparently he failed, greatly.

Still, perhaps rest was good for him as well.

Opening his eyes again, his gaze flew over to Itachi who by now also was awake. He was resting his back against the headboard, hands in his lap. However, his eyes looked tired, unfocused. Shisui chewed his lip in concern, until his focused returned to Sasuke who climbed on top of Shisui, straddling his chest.

"Last night we played a fun game. Can we play it? Nii-san told me some other time, but he always says that..." Sasuke pouted, eyes like saucers as he rocked to the sides, squeezing the breath out of Shisui. Well, if the weight hadn't, the words definitely would have. Shisui's eyes nervously flickered over to Itachi, the boy now more distant than ever.

"Sasuke, we don't play in hospitals.." was all Shisui could think of saying, in this short notice, trying to spare the feelings of the both boys.

"Why are we in the hospital? No one is bleeding," Sasuke asked, the child definitely bringing out a tired smile of Shisui.

"You don't have to bleed to be hurt," he explained, ruffling Sasuke's already messy hair.

"Are you hurt, Shisui-nii?" Sasuke asked with as much concern that little child could muster.

"No," he smiled.

"Who then?" Sasuke asked, not satisfied with Shisui's answer.

"Your brother," Shisui said after a moment of thought, not sure whether Itachi would appreciate that answer. And sure enough, he felt that cold glare directed at him. Sasuke seemed to ponder the answer for a while, before he gently slid down the bed and padded over to Itachi, lifting the pyjama shirt up that he was still wearing, carefully inspecting his brother.

Shisui chuckled, feeling his worry of Itachi dealing with this alone being unnecessary. Sasuke was still a child, they both were, but that innocence couldn't do anything else but warm your heart.

Sasuke didn't seem to find anything wrong with his brother, but he didn't ask anything further regarding the matter, which was what Shisui wanted. However, the questions kept coming.

"When are we going home?" he asked, earning a flinch from Itachi who slid down to rest on his back again.

"I don't know," Shisui truthfully answered, and wondered how many times more he'd have to resort to that. "You should rest for a little longer."

"I'm not tired!" came the now restless reply. Shisui decided he wouldn't even bother. He'd have to try and deal with Itachi as well, make sure he'll be fine. But first, he'd have to distract Sasuke.

"Sasuke, come here, look what auntie sent you," he offered, sitting upright on the bed to bend down and pick up the basket of fruit. Sasuke curiously walked over, rummaging through the contents.

"Give some to nii-san as well," Shisui smiled, and Sasuke soon carried some apples over to Itachi's lap, placing them neatly down. Shisui could see how wary Sasuke was around Itachi, as if he would break if you made a mistake, and Shisui wondered how much more aware Sasuke was of the delicacy of the situation than he gave him credit for.

Itachi politely thanked Sasuke but didn't make a move to eat the fruit. Shisui was a bit concerned, but wondered if they'd already been given something to eat. 

"Sasuke, look at what else I brought," Shisui offered, bending down to rummage through his own belongings, bringing out a few of Sasuke's toys he'd picked up earlier. He handed them over to Sasuke, who was by now beaming.

"Will you play with me, Shisui-nii?" he asked, hopeful, but Shisui shook his head.

"No, you'll have to play with yourself," he said with console, amused at the look Sasuke sent him.

"But you said I can't play in the hospital?" Sasuke came to ask, and Shisui was forced to curse his own words.

"Well if you play nicely no one will know," Shisui whispered, and as he hoped, Sasuke settled with that and started to play by himself, the noises of his games filling the room, soothing the uneasy feeling silence imprinted on them.

"Itachi, how are you feeling?" Shisui finally brough himself to ask. He was expecting Itachi to be quiet, or the common 'I'm fine', so he was surprised when this time this wasn't the case.

"I don't want to talk about it," came the quiet reply, Shisui taken aback.

He felt relief though, that Itachi was admitting he wasn't ok.

"You know you can talk to me any time you like," Shisui promised.

"I know," came the distant reply, and Shisui almost doubted that Itachi knew, but he let the boy decide the pace.

It was quiet for a while, between them, Shisui knowing not to try and incite Itachi further, him being in a sensitive position.

"Did anyone visit?" Shisui came to ask, out of curiosity, but also wondering whether people cared in general.

"Yeah," came the blunt reply.

"Like who?" Shisui asked, probing a bit further, looking intently at Itachi.

"Like my team. They left soon," he managed to answer, and Shisui nodded.

"Did they tell you that you got temporarily replaced?" Shisui asked, carefully, receiving no immediate answer.

Shisui was no fool, he'd known Itachi long enough to pick up on the subtle changes, even if Itachi was in a wrecked state right now. He could still tell there was a new tension in the room.

"Yes... but.. why? I-.. I mean, I'm strong.. I can handle it," Itachi ranted, and Shisui let him. However, only silence endued.

"This isn't about being strong, Itachi," Shisui sighed. "I know you are. But this is about you giving actual time to heal your wounds, which I doubt you'd do otherwise."

"I'm fine," there it came, the answer Shisui knew he'd have to hear sooner or later. _Oh you stubborn boy_.

"Don't lie to yourself," Shisui warned. "Who would be ok after something like that?"

He knew it was somewhat harsh, but the truth was something Itachi shouldn't try to escape from. He got no answer.

“Itachi, I know you're hurting, and I know you want to stop hurting, but that's not something you have the power to decide. All you can do is to give it time.. you know I'm here for you, right?”

“Right,” he heard the answer, the poison in the voice not going unnoticed.

It once again turned quiet, and Shisui knew he shouldn't press Itachi to talk about it. However, he feared that Itachi never would want to, and he really hoped that wasn't the case.

"Come here," he said after a while, extending his eyes. Itachi eyed him warily, and Shisui waited with patience. Then, slowly, Itachi removed the apples from his lap and got up from his bed to join Shisui, carefully letting Shisui manoeuvre him into a hug.

Shisui stroked Itachi's silky hair, the other hand resting on his lower back, trying to somehow wash the pain off him. He could feel Itachi being tense, he could hear him sigh in attempt to release frustration.

They both leaned back down on the bed, Itachi's head resting on Shisui's chest.

The moment was blissful, he could hear and feel Itachi calmly breathe, and watched those eyes close through his own lidded ones. He could feel the need to be protective return, even if there was no outright threat anymore.

He was almost going to fall asleep until he felt some uneasy feeling creep up his spine, and he quickly opened his eyes to see whether it was his own mind playing tricks on him.

He quickly spotted the factor, the tiny brat hiding behind the bed, eyes smirking devilishly from where he could see them. Now that the boy's cover was blown, he pounced onto the bed, the whole thing creaking terribly as he buried himself under Shisui's arms, making Shisui feel warm to the core.

It was great being brothers, Shisui mused to himself. He wanted to be jealous, but couldn't bring himself to think anything like that about his most important people. And like that, he cuddled them both, knowing the moment would be short-lived before he'd have to leave again, if not for anything else, the clan assembly would definitely demand his presence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your feedback! it helps and inspires me :)  
> (damn this chapter felt a bit too sappy for my liking, but oh well)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates will be few and far between now, since life is busy .. however, life wont be busy forever! 
> 
> and on a sidenote, for those who are wondering, Sasuke will get POVs later on, and you'll get your Naruto as well by then ;)

As Shisui predicted, the assembly was nothing but chaos.

Without a person with the position of a clan leader, without Fugaku, there had been no one to actually keep the horde of people under control. Topics were brought up and discarded, on repeat, and almost no decisions were made.

There had been discussions about choosing a new clan leader - but there was an immediate lack of promising candidates, so the discussion was abandoned. There had been heated arguments about their clan's position, how to secure it, who to trust and what to make of all the hassle that had taken place. However, the lack of any plans, and the lack of detail of the few they had, as well as disagreements left them all scattered.

Even Shisui had been thrown into the spotlight countless times, having to refuse tasks that he was given, receiving glares from fanatic clansmen.

Being the renowned Uchiha, they wanted Shisui to do dangerous tasks, for the sake of the clan. And not only would those ridiculous requests be a danger for him, but for the clan as well, and most importantly, for those two boys he so didn't want to leave alone.

One of those missions would include prying into Danzo's life and spying on him. And there wasn't even anything connecting him to the crime.

He knew they hadn't made any open decisions at the assembly, but he was still aware that someone would take on the task, and he sure hoped the fool wouldn't bring more trouble onto them all.

One decision that they were able to make was, however, what to do with the two boys. Shisui had been wondering when these clan loving people would bring this topic up, which somehow felt like the most important topic for Shisui, and he felt relieved as they did.

And without a thought he'd agreed to take on custody, even as far as doing paperwork in the Hokage's tower, even though the village almost didn't have any organization at all when it came to things non-ninja.

Perhaps a decision that should have been put more thought into. But Shisui, now that he had the chance to mull it over, would still agree.

Maybe less enthusiastically, he was aware, now that he faced another hard decision.

Staring into his parents' dusty, untouched room, he found himself unable to move.

His house wasn't exactly small, but it wasn't spacy either. A kitchen to the right of the entrance, and a small hallway to the right, containing four rooms, two of which included bedrooms, and then a bathroom and a family room. He knew one room needed to be emptied to give the boys some space and privacy. And that room had to be his parents'. After all, he couldn't cram them in his own tiny room and explain why they couldn't move into his parents' room, while still trying to help them overcome their parents' deaths.

It just didn't seem convincing. Besides, it had been over five years ago.

He couldn't even wait with doing the deed, as his friends were helping, going through Fugaku's belongings, bringing whatever they thought necessary over.

So he sucked in a deep breath of air, fists balled as he gathered courage and fought the feeling of betrayal, grabbing the first small, movable piece of furniture. It was a drawer, tarnished and coated in dust, trying to make it budge. It wasn't heavy, but his arms felt like lead.

He couldn't just throw it out without looking through the contents, right?

 _The dead don't need items,_ he told himself. He didn't think his own words would hurt so bad.

Just as he gathered strength to move it, his own will betrayed him, letting his emotions get the better of him. He was quickly rummaging through the contents, frantically, his realization frightening him.

_Why have I been afraid to throw away clothes?_

Oh yeah, because throwing away items that reminded him of his parents felt like throwing away all memories. As if their legacy was thrown away like an old, used rag.

It was a terrible feeling, knowing that five years had passed and he still felt stupid and immature and helpless like this. But it was worse, knowing that he wouldn't feel like this if he perhaps had dealt with it earlier, or even thought of it.

Instead, he left the room untouched, clouds of dust stirring to life as he disturbed its sleep.

He couldn't do more than bitterly chuckle to himself. It was all he could do because now he found no time to think anymore through. He could do it later, together with Itachi.

That thought didn't make the pain go away, but he found strength to finally carry out the small drawer.

To think that this material had almost owned him, yet he had done nothing with it all these years, nor had his parents needed it for anything. It was only time he got rid of it.

Perhaps change hurt, but the worst change had already happened. Maybe he felt like he still had power over the situation, to prevent change, but he had only been fooling himself.

So without much more thought, his friends returned and they emptied the room together, sparing a few items that Shisui felt he had the right to still cling to, and they proceeded to clean it out before getting the rest of the items.

A sparse amount it was, some necessary furniture like their tiny beds, some clothes, Itachi's ninja equipment and Sasuke's toys, as well as other everyday items and some things they might want to save, like Shisui had of his parents.

But the room felt now hollow, and empty, terribly _empty_.

Shisui hoped it would feel more light when the boys were here.

By the time he was done, it was dark outside. He wanted to go get the boys, but he knew that if he woke up a sleeping Sasuke the boy would never get back to bed. 

So Shisui made the decision to go to see them in the morning, but as he was woken up in the middle of the night, seeing them would have to wait. Leaving in the middle of the night, he regretted leaving without a word. But if he couldn't protect the village then, who would protect the boys?

 

    Itachi pretended to sleep as he finally heard the nurse slowly approach their room. He'd been doing this all morning, closing his eyes and trying to relax when he heard the clicking of heels or the sound of wheels move around in the hallways. 

He knew well enough that when you were in a hospital, they would not only listen to what you'd say, they'd monitor everything. And him not sleeping would only worry the nurses more than necessary, more than Itachi would want. And sitting wide awake, tapping his fingers against the metal frame this early in the morning wouldn't seem convincing.

It would have probably gone better if Itachi would have thought more through, but the nurse pretended not to notice.

"Good morning," she wished them politely as she waited for Sasuke to fully wake up, the boy squirming and groaning, rubbing his eyes in annoyance.

Itachi wondered how a morning person like Sasuke had suddenly turned into a don't poke the bear kind of person. But so much had happened of recent, and the thought was lost with the others.

"You may leave the hospital today," she announced, and Itachi could only stare. Sasuke was quiet, trying to figure out the exact meaning of the words why Itachi wondered why those words had been chosen in the first place.

Sasuke's morning grouchiness seemed to dissipate into thin air as the words finally went home. Itachi's arms flailed with sudden protectiveness as the boy came flying over to Itachi's bed, fear that he'd go head first into the hard frame. However, Sasuke landed only with an oomph at Itachi, and Itachi felt almost embarrassed that he couldn't predict the movement.

He should have, being the ninja he is.

"Nii-san, we're going home!" Sasuke beamed, being just as tired of being stuck in the hospital as Itachi. Itachi did felt relief, he wanted to go home just as much as Sasuke seemed to. But then again, he wasn't sure whether Sasuke knew that their parents wouldn't be waiting for them.

It hurt Itachi, not only the mention of home, but how it would affect Sasuke,

He wanted to forget, or pretend it didn't happen. But Sasuke made it so hard, needing Itachi to be strong for him. Itachi was tired of always being the strong one, a role he'd had to take when he was far too young.

At least he had had other support back then. He still had, he knew. Shisui would be there, even if Itachi was too afraid to ask-

"- your legal guardian, you'll be moving in with him," Itachi had been too lost in thought to even notice the nurse was speaking, something he was scared to notice, and even though he missed a part of what she had said, Itachi knew.

And Itachi continued to surprise himself, traits he didn't know he had, or ever would have, surfaced.

His parents had taught him to be mannered and polite, but Itachi couldn't bring himself to answer the nurse, glaring at her.

"And where is he?" Itachi asked, not even trying to hide the bitter turn his voice had taken.

_Who did Shisui think he was?_

__Is he trying to smother me? I don't need a babysitter. I don't need help._ _

_Why isn't he here to tell me?_

Maybe his anger was fear in disguise, fear of Shisui changing into Fugaku, changing into someone else but Shisui, Itachi losing yet one more important to him. _  
_

_He's not my dad. He won't be my dad.  
_

He needed Shisui for who he was.

"Sadly, Shisui-san had to leave for an important mission."

Itachi could feel his teeth clenching, Shisui not being there to prove his plaguing thoughts wrong, Sasuke obliviously pulling away from Itachi. "Come on nii-san, let's eat so we can go home."

They did, with Sasuke first waiting for Itachi to set an example, and ate without further fuss as they ate the dry, tasteless hospital food. Neither of them had the energy to complain, Sasuke in a hurry to go home while Itachi didn't want to worry the nurses.

Itachi didn't need their help, nor Shisui's. He never asked for it.

At least Itachi was convinced he didn't.

 

      "Why are we at Shisui's, why can't we go home?" Sasuke asked Itachi, now that the nurse had gone home and Sasuke's shyness with her. Itachi didn't answer, the quiet of the house disturbing him to his core.

Everything was so quiet now, as if it was a crime to disrupt it, as if it demanded to be.

Itachi stood at the doorway by their refurnished room, he supposed. He recognized the items, with an ache for home, as Sasuke ran into him and stilled with the same realization.

The room was almost starving, needing to be filled with something. But at least it fit with the theme of everything else, cold and hollow and helping nothing to warm the dull and grey of Itachi's heart.

So was the rest of Shisui's house, Itachi never having been there without the presence of Shisui, and it felt so oddly out of place. And so felt their room, Itachi not able to put a name on the emotion he was feeling.

Perhaps shame, that he had gotten frustrated at Shisui for only wanting to help? Itachi swallowed as Sasuke was the first to go in the room to go examine everything, trying to understand just what had happened.

But the shame didn't make the anger go away. Perhaps it was one stable emotion that he could hold on to and mask the hurt he was feeling.

And even if Shisui had moved items to make it seem more like home, at least how Itachi saw it, he wanted to go to his real home. Nothing would keep him from going there, not even Shisui, or the nurses, not anyone.

"Come, let's go," Itachi told Sasuke, the little boy's eyes lighting up, before scrunching in confusion but said nothing as he looked at their furniture. He came running however, reaching out for Itachi's hand who gladly accepted it to tug the little boy along.

But once they reached their home, Sasuke's enthusiasm died down.

Itachi felt it too.

It was just as cold as any other place. Foreign, not welcoming, not filled with life as it used to be.

It wasn't as tidy as Mikoto always made sure it was. Things were missing or out of place, and it was quiet like everything else. Itachi was frozen, trying to make sense of this, letting Sasuke rush away from him in search of their parents.

Was this torment never going to end?

He moved to the kitchen, and the white outlining of his parents' bodies had all the blood cooling in seconds. His parents weren't there, but it somehow felt like their corpses were littering the room still. Itachi couldn't tear his eyes away, not even if he wanted to.

He would never forget it.

Itachi could hear Sasuke calling out after mom on the backyard, and he was moving without thought to go get the lost boy.

Maybe if he had listened he wouldn't have brought this upon both of them.

"Sasuke," Itachi whispered, watching the confused boy straying. It didn't feel like Sasuke, having the boy look so lost with eyes filled with pain and confusion stare back at him.  
"Let's go back."

He carried the boy home in silence, hoping that Shisui would be back. That feeling of shame was back, and it was suffocating the anger away. And hurt and shame was a mix of feelings Itachi never wanted to know again.

The house was just as empty as when they left, and Itachi felt some uncalled for fear that Shisui might not come back.

_Don't leave me._

"Hey, let's play, what should we play?" Sasuke asked out of the sudden, as if they hadn't been at their home, which wasn't home anymore, as if the questions of why they were here, didn't matter anymore. He was tugging on Itachi's sleeve, trying to get him to follow, but Itachi only poked his brother's forehead and Sasuke scrunched up his face, like he always did, because he knew what came after.

"Sorry Sasuke, some other time."

"But you don't even have anything to do."

Itachi didn't have anything to reply. It was true, but he didn't feel like playing nevertheless. He felt tension, anxiety, that needed to be worked through, to vent, and not by playing. He wondered how Shisui would do, in this situation. Covering trees in shuriken? Itachi knew people dealt with frustration like that, but Itachi didn't see it solving anything.

However, he followed Sasuke to their new room, wondering in jealousy how Sasuke could be so happy.

Did he not hurt? Or miss their parents?

Itachi gave Sasuke a pen and some paper, and lied down to think things through.

He didn't though, as he finally fell asleep.

It was short though, Sasuke looming over him. "Itachi?"

"Otouto?" Itachi asked, pushing the boy off him.

"I'm hungry."

"Oh.." was all that Itachi could reply, now that it was mentioned he could feel how much his own stomach hurt. He pushed himself off the bed, finding no other solution than to go look what Shisui held in his fridge, his eyes however catching the sight of papers spread all over the floor.

He couldn't mistake what was drawn onto them.

That goddamn cat that Itachi was sure was at fault. He was quickly gathering the drawings, by mistake scrunching them up but not noticing, turning blank page upside as he put them away.

Sasuke stood behind him, awaiting praise and feeling hurt as Itachi so messily handled his work. Itachi didn't say a thing, padding over to the kitchen.

The fridge didn't hold any ready made food. Only ingredients Itachi couldn't handle, and for the first time he felt deep inside him that perhaps he needed Shisui's help after all. Nothing he would yet admit, though.

He had no other choice but to borrow some money from where he knew Shisui kept it, and go out to get them some cheap food to eat.

And by the end of the day, Itachi found himself with Sasuke in Shisui's bed, the scent of the older one comforting, and the room not being as out of place as theirs.

Sasuke was sleeping deeply, but Itachi was once again snared in his thoughts.

He needed Shisui. Or as he wanted to say, he didn't need his help, but he wanted his help. He wanted it so bad.

He was a ninja, he told himself, but not even Shisui's bed was enough to wash away the uneasy in Itachi, shadows of trees towering over them in the moonlit room.

He was scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, chapter feels roughly unfinished but I needed an update nevertheless xD hope it was alright anyway.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, been busy! sorry for the long wait! the chapter was a bit tricky to write as well, hopefully it isn't too hectic xD and thanks for the feedback!

The mission hadn't gone too well.

They'd been sloppy, and Shisui cursed his luck. Luckily there hadn't been too grave an injury, but one member would still have to spend some time at the hospital.

Which meant even more trouble for Shisui, having to get accustomed to a substitute. It always brought difficulty, trying to get the team work going smooth when anyone new was introduced.

But it couldn't be helped, could it?

He was almost sleep walking back to his house, seeing nothing but his sweet, soft bed, wanting nothing more.

He wasn't even sure when he'd had a full night's sleep the last time. Over a week ago, definitely.

And oh yeah, he had completely forgotten the two boys, something he almost had an heart attack over when he entered his house.

"Shisui-nii!"

Shisui was sure his head was going to explode.

"Hey you two," he smiled, not a very genuine smile but a smile nonetheless, while picking up the fast growing kid in his arms. When had Sasuke become this heavy? Or was Shisui turning into the weakest ninja in this village.

"Did you fight a lot of bad guys?" Sasuke asked, eyes shining bright with something Shisui was sure looked like awe.

"Yeah," Shisui mustered, not feeling like trying to explain more. If things only were black and white like that, bad and good. Never the truth, however.

"How have you been doing? I'm sorry I couldn't be here," Shisui sighed, letting down Sasuke and watching Itachi who was apparently busy with something by the kitchen table.

"We've been staying here," Sasuke answered, jogging up to Itachi.

"Yeah?" Shisui answered, trying to pretend he was listening to all the "adventures" Sasuke apparently had gotten into.

While he gave short answers to keep Sasuke satisfied, he removed the uncomfortable apparel, really craving that sleep.

"What have you two been eating?" Shisui asked, the thought of having to feed them not ever having crossed his mind, but watching Itachi go about in the kitchen somewhat made him realize it. And worry.

Watching Itachi trying to slice some apples made Shisui's own stomach growl. He approached the fridge, rummaging through it in hopes of finding anything to eat.

"I borrowed some money," Itachi said, finally saying something as well.

"Borrow?" Shisui blinked, "no, you don't have to pay me back... so, are you hungry?" Shisui asked, frowning as he realized that the only thing he had in his fridge that he actually had the energy to prepare was old leftover tempura.

"I have some tempura," he offered, but he saw Itachi's frown and couldn't help but sigh. "Let me guess, one of you doesn't like it?"

Sasuke nodded.

_Of course he doesn't._

Shisui pulled out the meat anyway, and judging by Itachi's look, he was either very confused or hurt.

"Listen, I'm too tired to cook right now," he muttered while adjusting the oven to heat his own food. He fished out some money and lightly slammed it on the counter. "I suppose you can treat yourself to something you like. I'll cook for you later.." Shisui mumbled, wondered if he has to keep a list of what those two eat and don't eat.

Shisui felt the hesitation radiate from Itachi, who didn't even move a muscle to take the money.

"Itachi, I'm really, really tired. Don't be difficult now," he growled, rubbing his temple. He'd speak to Itachi later, later when he'd slept for gods know who long and will finally be able think straight again.

He received the glare he expected, but what he didn't expect was that Itachi left in silence.

He heated his meat, hurriedly chunking it down once it was ready, knowing he should take his time to eat it properly but the bed was calling for him like an impatient lover.

And as he hurried to his bedroom, and undressed, he noticed his bed was messy. And he wasn't certain in the haze of exhaustion, but he still thought he had made it before he left. And he spun around, peering through to the room he had prepared for Itachi and Sasuke, and noticed it was untouched.

Weird, he thought silently to himself before straightening the covers and wrapping himself up in them, finally, finally getting his sleep.

 

      Itachi kicked rocks that crossed his path, fuming silently to himself as they went down the road. In one hand he held Sasuke's, which kept tugging as the boy demanded Itachi's attention, while in the other he held a bag of fine, sweet dango which he couldn't help but wait to get his hands on when they got back...

... he almost called it home, but he'd be damned if he did.

They had treated themselves with some shabu-shabu, but the amount of money Shisui had carelessly given them was more than enough for that. On any given day, Itachi would have politely returned the excess money, but today was not one of those days. Instead, he spent it all.

Who was there to tell anyway whose money he could or couldn't spend, and no one was going to tell him not to have sweets.

Shisui didn't even seem to care anyway, not if his actions earlier was anything to go by. And Itachi was dreadful to admit, that perhaps that part of his brain that he wanted to shut up, was right all along.

Shisui was changing.

Shisui has become distant.

Itachi was aware though that their meeting had been brief, and was sure hopeful that the old Shisui would be waiting for him when they got back.

"Nii-san, you're not listening again!" Sasuke pouted, and Itachi halted, aiming for Sasuke's forehead once again. The boy blushed, could it be in disappointment or anger, before Itachi flashed him a smile. "Sorry Sasuke, some other time."

They finally reached Shisui's place, with a muttering Sasuke, and Itachi called out to let him know they were back.

No reply, if you didn't count snoring, and Itachi couldn't help but feel as disappointed as Sasuke seemed earlier.

Itachi thanked whatever force that had made him buy those dango. And once he had distanced himself from the ever persistent Sasuke, he was finally left alone with them.

 

      Shisui was tired. But apparently not tired enough to sleep through the noise Sasuke was making.

Was he arguing with Itachi, or just playing by himself?

No, Sasuke was usually quiet if left by himself.

Shisui wondered why on earth he was analysing Sasuke's behaviour instead of sleeping. His eyelids felt too heavy to be opened, and his limbs like stones. Yet, he lied there, not able to catch more sleep.

And before long, Sasuke finally quietened, but Shisui found something else to irritate himself on.

For how long had that meat been in his fridge?

He thought he was imagining his bowels move, and a wrenching feeling in his gut.

But suddenly the bed dipped, and he was convinced he wasn't imagining anything. The bile was rushing through his chest just as quick as he was rushing to the bathroom, awkwardly pushing Sasuke who had climbed onto the bed away.

"Shisui!" the boy awkwardly squawked, and the noise sent a wave of nausea through Shisui's body.

"Quiet!" he hissed before thinking, or rather before the content of his stomach made a not so wished for entrance.

He scrambled to the bathroom, emptying his stomach, just in time reaching the toilet. It took a lot of time for his retching to subdue, and once it had he felt a huge headache creep up.

This was not how he had planned spending his day.

Kids were fun when you met them occasionally, and at the right time.

This was not the right time.

It was the first day they were staying at his house, and Shisui was already sure he's never getting kids of his own.

He rinsed his mouth, stumbling back out of the bathroom to go fetch himself a glass of water, and seeing Itachi munching down on some dango, empty sticks littering the floor around him.

Had this become a madhouse?

"Itachi?" Shisui asked, staring at Itachi as if he were a ghost, "what are you doing?"

The boy's eyebrow rose, but Shisui got no reply.

"How many have you had?" Shisui asked, and received no reply. He was losing his patience, no screw that, he lost it a while ago.

"Itachi, stop that! You think that's good for you?" he hissed, wondering whether Itachi would be the one hunched over the toilet this time. Or, even worse, turn obese if it became a common practice.

"Who are you to tell me what to do? My dad?" Itachi spat, and Shisui was counting to ten. And ignoring the sharp stab of pain in his chest.

"So now that your parents are gone you can do whatever you like!? What do you think they'll think of you, disrespecting them?" he snapped, and it didn't take him long to regret it when Itachi's defying look turned into something wrenched by pain.

Shisui opened his mouth to say something, but something tugged on his shirt and he forgot what he was about to say.

Sasuke looked just as hurt as Itachi, either from earlier or from hearing Shisui yell. Whatever it was, Shisui felt extremely guilty.

_Who would even want to be a parent?_

"I'm sorry I yelled, I just feel really sick, ok?" he flashed a smile at the boy, squatting down to his level and patting his head.

"I'll make it up to you later, I need to sleep now," he said, getting up to leave to the bed, but he felt a chakra signature approach fast and he knew that the bed would have to wait, again.

"Shisui-san, Danzou-sama requests your presence," the ROOT member announced, and Shisui cursed his life as he reluctantly left the brooding boys once again.

What a mess. Would he ever get to sleep?

 

     "For how long will you keep that Itachi of yours off missions?"

_Geez, he summoned me all for that?_

"I'm not sure, Danzou-sama," Shisui answered honestly, and couldn't help but feel a bit worried to where this conversation was heading.

"Is he training?" Danzou asked, and Shisui fought rolling his eyes.

"It's only been a few days. Leave him be."

"Shisui. This is a ninja village. If we treated every ninja like that _special_ Itachi, we'd be corrupt in no time."

_Cut the crap already._

"Why did you summon me?" Shisui asked, wanting to be gone.

"What was decided during the clan assembly?"

_Why me?_

Shisui could only think of his own bed.

"Nothing," he answered, plainly but truthfully. But the look he received and the experience he had from before told him that Danzou wasn't satisfied with it. "No unity was reached."

"No new clan leader?" Danzou asked, and Shisui would give anything for that old man to retire, or die from old age, or anything.

"No."

"Very well.. what else?" Danzou continued to pry, and Shisui couldn't help but his foot to slide in an irritated manner, signalling how much he didn't want to be here.

"A few accuse you of murder. Most think Konoha is being unjust. A coup d'etat wasn't discussed openly but I think some are considering it."

_Please let me go now._

"And what do you think. Of whether I'm involved or not."

Shisui let himself hesitate perhaps a bit too long.

"I think it's too soon to suspect you of anything," he answered, and hoped he was polite enough.

"Hm.. you are well aware of the fact that I don't trust you Uchihas. However, I know you're willing to listen to reason. And I trust you know what's best for the village."

"Yes," Shisui nodded, wondering where on earth this conversation was heading.

"The moment you attack me, a member of the council, you declare yourselves enemies of Konoha, and will be annihilated accordingly."

Shisui nodded, it might be true. Or not. The Uchiha were feared for some reasons, perhaps they'd be victorious. But they needed Konoha.

"Shisui.. I want you to take the position of the new clan leader."

Shisui blinked. He hadn't been expecting this, and he somehow felt like he wasn't getting his bed any time soon.

"I refuse," he harshly bit, and earned a dirty look from that old geezer.

"Why?"

"I don't want part in this," Shisui admitted, and it wasn't a lie. He had too much to worry about already.

"Whether or not you want it, you already have a part in this. I know you're waiting for Itachi to be the clan leader, but you can't wait that long. You need to take matters into your own hands now, if you want there to be a clan to lead for that special boy of yours."

Was that true? Was Shisui not willing to see someone else as a clan leader than Itachi?

Perhaps. And Danzou had a chilling point.

"Why me?"

"Because I have direct contact with you. I also know you're not foolish. You can keep the others under control."

Shisui considered it. It was true, that there was a turmoil starting within his clan. Something that should be prevented, something Shisui wished someone else would pretend. But perhaps Danzou was right. Most of his clan were foolish, and what if someone lead the clan who was just as foolish?

It took a minute, but Shisui knew there was duty awaiting him, and all must do their duty.

"I'll do it," Shisui said, and he loathed the smile that Danzou sent him, "under two conditions."

The smile was gone.

"And those are?"

"First, reduce the number of my missions. I don't have time for both."

"Very well."

"And second, you tell me, right here, right now. We're you responsible for the murder of Fugaku and Mikoto?"

Shisui didn't want to know. But he needed to.

_As if he'd dare admit it anyway._

"Yes."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, this chapter was demanding to write, I kinda gave up halfway there! that's why it took some time and that's why it will feel unfinished, but I'm past the point of caring rn xD

Shisui couldn't believe what mess he found himself in.

He was once again in his bed, and it should feel heavenly. But after what he heard, he wondered whether he'd ever find heaven again.

He had wanted to kill Danzou right on the spot, even though it would have been the most unwise thing.

Even if Danzou had confessed, how would he prove him guilty?

He couldn't. And Danzou had been right when he'd said that if they attacked him they'd declare themselves enemy of Konoha.

It would be even worse if Danzou had only been lying to have Shisui make this mess even greater.

So Shisui faced a tough decision. Was he going to share this information to Itachi and the rest of the clan, and have them demand justice – something he himself wanted, but he knew how impatient and unsatisfied the rest would be - or would he lie to his comrades, just for peace?

He was going to be the clan leader, something the council had decided and something that the clan had no say in. Damn it all.

And a clan leader should be honest to his clan.

And what would Itachi think? Shisui had no idea.

It made his heart ache.

This was obviously Danzou's schemes, to cause more turmoil within the clan.

Shisui knew he had to wait before making any choices, but he was sure about one thing. Danzou was going to pay, sooner or later.

And he found himself somewhat calmed down by the fact that no one could prove he had found out today. He could pretend he hadn't know until much later.

Even so, he wasn't looking forward to the next clan assembly.

Well, at least something to make his headache feel less horrible, the constricting anxiety in his chest definitely got all attention.

He groaned, sitting upright to drink the rest of the water, something he definitely needed after the incident he had earlier, and as he placed down it was like the boys had appeared from nowhere.

“Can we sleep with you?” he heard Itachi timidly ask, Sasuke rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“Sure,” he said, wondering why Sasuke was getting dragged with Itachi.

He was sure Sasuke hadn't woken up by himself. He decided not to question it though as both boys climbed onto his bed, having Itachi squeeze between him and Sasuke.

They all lied there in silence, and Shisui kept wondering when he'd tell Itachi about what he'd learned.

And as Itachi curled up next to him, tiny sobs escaping his lips, Shisui knew he would have to wait.

He petted Itachi's hair, and swore Danzou wouldnt get away with this.

 

      “Itachi, Sasuke, come here for a second will you?” Shisui called out, waiting for them to come running inside. And once he had their full attention, decided to get this done and over with.

“So, your parents' funeral will be held this weekend.. you both can decide whether you want to go or not, either way is totally fine,” Shisui explained, scratching his neck awkwardly, his attention directed towards Sasuke who look as puzzled as ever.

“Funeral? What's that?” he asked, and Shisui had no idea how to explain it to a five year old.

“Eh, well, your parents' bodies will b-” he tried, but Sasuke seemed not to understand as his eyes lit up.

“Mom and dad? Do you think mom will-”

“Sasuke, they wont,” Shisui warned, watching Sasuke still. “They can't use their bodies anymore. And because of that, they wont need them anymore.”

If Sasuke had ever looked confused, it was now.

And Itachi angrily left.

“A funeral is when you say goodbye to those bodies and then they will be put in a big fire, ok?” Shisui tried to explain, but he felt even more horrible by every word he uttered. “You don't have to come if you don't want to.”

But Shisui knew exactly that it wasn't Sasuke's choice. He would choose whatever Itachi chose, something he was proven right as Sasuke ran after his brother.

 

      Shisui was massaging shampoo into Sasuke's hair with great fury.

Out of all days, today was the day Sasuke would throw the greatest of all fusses.

It was as if the boy could sense the energy coming from a funeral, even though he knew nothing of it.

Sasuke had refused to eat, Sasuke had refused to leave his brother's side, Sasuke had refused to step into the shower and now he was refusing to get clean.

Itachi said Sasuke was a “big boy” already and knew how to do most of the washing, but Shisui wasn't convinced any longer. Perhaps it was the fact that someone new was in the shower, and perhaps Shisui shouldn't give in this easily and force Sasuke to get clean, but they were running out of time.

Who knew children could be this difficult?

And Itachi was the only one who had the capacity to control Sasuke, but Itachi was so distant and lost in his own world that Shisui had to try to manage everything on his own.

“You wont get shampoo in your eyes if you do as I tell you to,” Shisui growled as the boy complained, eyes clenched and hands trying to pry Shisui's away as Shisui tried his best to rinse the shampoo off of the squirming boy.

And trying to clean Sasuke in the more demanding areas was definitely no fun either, he realized, as he tried his best.

The boy dashed away from the shower immediately as Shisui declared him ready, and Shisui was trying to wash himself as fast as possible as he watched Sasuke fumble with the towel.

“Itachi, help him,” Shisui fumed, but Itachi seemed just as incompetent as Sasuke as he sat on the toilet seat, towel wrapped around him and hair dripping wet, staring into the floor.

Shisui wanted all this to be over, right now.

So he hurried to get them all dry and ready, dressed in their mourning robes, and out of there as soon as possible.

Thankfully Sasuke followed Itachi as they walked, if Shisui would have had to physically drag Sasuke there he'd just had left him somewhere.

They walked to the Naka Shrine, and the atmosphere seemed to worsen as they passed through the gate.

Most were already seated, and Shisui felt a bit embarrassed as he passed them all to get a seat by the front, tachi sitting down next to him.

They were apparently the last ones to arrive.

By the back, the portraits of Fugaku and Mikoto stood, flowers assembled. And behind the altar, were the caskets. 

It was peaceful and though the silence felt heavy and sad, it wasn't crushing.

Still, Sasuke squeezed himself in between Shisui and Itachi, and Shisui could feel the anxious energy drape the boy.

He tried to soothe him, but he'd never had that effect on Sasuke.

Itachi, familiar with funerals and granted the honour as oldest son to be the first to pay his condolence, walked up to the altar as the sutra began.

Shisui caught Sasuke as he was about to run up after his brother.

“Sasuke, we talked about thi-” Shisui tried to reason, trying to make Sasuke remember the talk he'd had earlier together with Itachi, where he'd explained what they were going to do at the funeral, but Sasuke was fighting more than ever and Shisui felt awful for restraining him.

“Nii-san!” he cried out, and even if the monk continued chanting, the guests were all paying attention to the scene Sasuke was causing.

Even Itachi was stuck, listening to Sasuke bawl and cry, and Shisui faced the choice of crushing Sasuke in his grip or letting him go.

So he released his hand and Sasuke ran up to Itachi, only to freeze as he came face to face with the caskets.

Sasuke trembled as he stared at the caskets with wide eyes, all his shyness in the world forgotten.

“Wh- what's wrong with mom?” the boy asked, but Itachi seemed as petrified himself.

The sutra was still chanted, but it was distant as everyone watched the little boy's world come crashing down.

But it was quickly over as Sasuke tried to reach down to touch her, but Itachi snatched Sasuke's wrist, wrenching him away and pulling him back down to their seats, away from all of the eyes in the room.

Shisui knew it was his turn to offer incense, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to move from his spot at all.

They must all be cursed, he thought to himself as Itachi once again seated next to him, Sasuke pale as a ghost, getting dragged down.

However, the funeral had to go on, and as Shisui's turn was over he tried his best to comfort Sasuke, never guessing that the boy would have it this hard.

Even Itachi was shaking by now, and Shisui guessed that it wasn't only going to be for one night that he'd have company in his bed.

And as all guests had offered incense, the sutra been completed and the priest having left, Itachi nor Sasuke moved to place flowers in the casket.

Shisui did, and he couldn't help but feel a bit detached from everything. 

He felt like he didn't belong in this moment, like he was interrupting something intimate.

Itachi wanted no one.

And Sasuke only wanted his brother.

Later, every guest having left after Itachi, even after everything, had thanked them for coming, they found themselves waiting for the bodies to be cremated.

“Why, why?” the Sasuke asked, but the more Shisui tried to find an answer, the harder it became.

He held Sasuke, wiping the tears away, relieved that Sasuke allowed him close, now that they were alone.

“What happened to her?” Sasuke sobbed, but Shisui had no words. “When will she come back? When will she...”

“Sasuke, she's not coming back..”

Shisui swore himself one thing. Danzou was going to pay.

And by the end of the day, having carried the urns to the grave in silence, Shisui felt like he was the worst person ever.

They all deserved revenge.

But the boys would still hurt.

Mikoto and Fugaku would still be dead.

And everything could yet become worse, so worse.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the funeral is a bit of a simplification, but I suppose they don't have time for grander things in Konoha? at least we never saw that in the manga/anime


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god sorry for the wait and sorry for the shit quality chapter I'm giving you now xD I just wanted to get this updated, I'm like Shisui in this chapter xD oh well, perhaps next chapter will be better?

Shisui was sure his body could not run any longer.

Or his mind, for that matter.

The gods were punishing him for something, something he had yet found out. But whatever he's done, he's done something really bad.

Because he saw no end to his punishment.

Weeks having passed, with no moving forward at all.

Shisui's failing to establish leadership within the clan. The council's involvement has put distrust and suspicion following him like a shadow, and most refuse to listen.

Shisui needs to earn their trust, but at what cost?

But at the end of the day, the clan mattered less and less.

It seemed like the whole “family” deal he's been trying to build for them was crumbling as well, mattering less and less all the time.

Neither of them seemed to sleep, and the tension was piling up like tons of bricks, ready to collapse and crush them.

Sasuke had turned restless. Not only restless during night, the boy was even shunning from Itachi.

And also involved a lot of play regarding his dead mother, which meant that Itachi ignored him in turn.

And Itachi, Shisui had no idea what Itachi was doing up all night. He brought Sasuke over by evening, but as Sasuke would fall asleep, Itachi would climb off the bed and not return.

Shisui always found him in his own bed by morning, but Itachi seemed more tired as the days passed.

And Shisui couldn't sleep because of those boys constantly keeping him awake, as well as the pressure he received from every corner.

Going on a mission tomorrow would not be something Shisui would appreciate. At all.

But perhaps he'd get an opportunity to vent, or get a vacation from his troubles.

He groaned, turning his body, making the whole bed creak in turn, which was a great mistake because the tiny body next to his twitched, disturbed from sleep.

He held his breath as he watched Sasuke whine, curling, relieved when he seemed to continue resting.

He continued listening to the little boy breathe, hoping that he'd sleep peacefully throughout the night.

 

       Itachi couldn't believe by how much he was missing his targets.

The more he missed, the more frustrated he grew, and the harder it became.

He wanted to cry out, or go punch the targets, but neither felt good to do.

It just wasn't his way to vent, and he couldn't help but slide down a tree and hold back his tears as he failed to rid the frustration that kept accumulating in his body.

Living had become hard when he didn't exactly know what to live for.

The only thing that seemed to be going forward was time.

Itachi was doing nothing. Not training, not missions, he didn't learn anything.

He was stuck with Sasuke who was doing everything he could to help Itachi's frustration.

Same with Shisui. Shisui was nothing but someone who tried to replace his parents, without avail.

He didn't remember the last time they had trained together.

Well, he hadn't even trained by himself, and it was definitely showing by the way his hand was shaking as he held his kunai.

However, Shisui was still a calming presence to have around, and even that would betray him as he was leaving on a mission tomorrow, leaving Itachi and Sasuke in the care of auntie.

“Fuck, there you are!”

Itachi couldn't help but startle as Shisui suddenly hovered over him, looking flustered and oddly upset.

“You can't just disappear like that, me and Sasuke have been worried sick!"

Itachi had nothing to say, as he threw the kunai, hitting his target this time.

“Well, are you coming home or not?”

Itachi huffed.

Shisui sighed.

“Well whatever, just go back so that Sasuke doesn't have to be afraid. I'm off to my mission now.”

 Itachi looked up at Shisui, quick to tell him to wait but Shisui disappeared in the blink of an eye, and Itachi could do nothing more than gather his equipment and drag his feet back, feeling perhaps a bit too guilty.

 

      Shisui did not like being in charge right at this moment.

He probably should admit to his team mates that he probably wasn't fit to lead or fight anything right now. He barely remember what their mission truly was, he was unable to focus and he was feeling otherworldly.

As if he really wasn't in his own body any longer.

He knew he shouldn't be here but he was too tired to do anything about it.

And it really became apparent as their target approached.

 

      “Shisui, I know times are hard for you now but since we've already cut down on your missions, you can't afford to err this much – Konoha can't afford it.”

Shisui held his head low.

Yeah, he saw his mistake, _now_.

“If you keep this up you wont be doing missions at all.”

Shisui nodded.

“Perhaps it's time Itachi returned.”

_Oh god, did they mean to replace me with Itachi?_

The previous mission had left his friend hurt, and this time Shisui had killed off an important source of information.

Someone who wasn't even that dangerous to begin with.

He had never enjoyed killing anyway, so he had no idea what drove him off in the first place.

Or perhaps he knew what had been his intentions. And those were to get it done and over with so that he could rest.

Instead he was here, getting scolded by the hokage himself and feeling pretty awful.

He left with a warning, which he was grateful for.

Perhaps his new position as clan leader had some advantages at least.

He hurried back home, hoping Itachi and Sasuke were still away so that he'd get at least a few hours' sleep. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god, IT'S ALIVE. yup, talk about resurrection xD nah, it was only really difficult for me to know what this chapter would be about, that's why it took so long. hopefully it's alright! now, I am as clueless as you about the next chapter, so we'll see whether I get it up in a week or three months xD it shouldn't take three months though, now that I figured this chapter out and got a fresh start.
> 
> Also, slightly rushed again, but you guys shouldn't be too surprised by this point xD

“I'll be like nii-san in no time!”

“Well, perhaps you need to learn how to dress yourself first...”

It was a difficult task, keeping the boy still and making him look presentable as he was the most excited Shisui had seen him.

Sasuke had been going on about this for about half a year now, and the day was finally here. Sasuke would now start his days in the academy.

The only thing bitter sweet about it was that Itachi was on a mission. Now, Shisui knew that even if Itachi was still the sour, grumpy boy of them, he wouldn't want to miss this.

Itachi should have been back by now, but as Shisui knew, missions didn't always go like scheduled.

“I can dress myself,” Sasuke pouted, and Shisui threw his hands away from the blushing boy in defeat, to let Sasuke prove himself.

If there was something that had changed, it was definitely Sasuke.

The fact that Itachi was mostly away on missions allowed Sasuke to deal with his sorrow in his own way. Itachi wasn't there to snap at him, even if Sasuke missed his brother dearly.

And that Itachi was gone gave Shisui a better opportunity at focusing on Sasuke, who Shisui seemed to forget about most when Itachi was around.

Sasuke even slept in his own bed now, even though on occasions he'd appear in the middle of the night in Shisui's.

And Shisui was not walking around snapping at either one of them. He rarely did missions, now that he was in charge of their clan.

He wasn't doing too poorly, but he'd be glad if Fugaku returned to demonstrate how exactly it was done.

The only thing that was wearing Shisui out was the fact that almost a year's investigation had not led them any closer to Danzou. He hadn't told anyone, and wasn't planning on either, even if it was eating him up inside.

He just didn't know when or how to.

Especially to Itachi, who seemed to have been glad to start his missions to occupy himself with something.

Even though Shisui was sure that missions weren't something Itachi enjoyed too much.

Itachi had become quieter and calmer, but it was frustrating Shisui to know that he had no clue what Itachi was thinking or feeling.

“Hey, Shisui-nii!” Sasuke yelled with frustration, and Shisui realized he had been spacing out again. He now let himself focus on the boy again, who upon looking at, hadn't managed to get dressed by himself.

“Come on, admit your defeat and let's get going,” Shisui laughed, straightening the clothes and getting up, waiting for the stubborn Sasuke to follow him.

It didn't take long before Sasuke bolted out of the house in excitement, and Shisui had to be extra cautious to keep up with the boy who was running ahead.

And as they reached the academy, and Sasuke was waving back at Shisui and joining all the other kids, Shisui wasn't too happy.

He didn't want Sasuke to become a ninja. He'd rather have Sasuke stay the way he is for the rest of time.

Shisui kept his slow pace as he walked back home, taking in the peaceful village and enjoying the weather, just to clear his mind of the thought of a grown assassin Sasuke.

He hoped Sasuke wasn't as quick a learner as his brother.

When he reached home, he noticed something was different immediately.

Concentrating, he could tell it was Itachi's chakra, and Shisui felt relieved that he'd not have to worry about that any longer.

“Itachi?” he called out, walking through the hallway to the bathroom, hearing a shower running. As he approached, the sound stopped.

He lightly tapped on the door and called out again, but he could only hear faint shuffling.

Shisui tried the door, giving Itachi a chance to call for privacy, but as he heard none he pushed it open.

His eyes immediately met Itachi's red, puffy ones, and he stood frozen for a minute, watching Itachi who was wrapped in an oversized towel, cheeks red as roses and fresh tears running down them.

Shisui's gaze moved for a second to the sink, clothes soaked in red water and he pieced it all together as his attention returned to Itachi.

Itachi was only shivering, hair dripping wet as he let out a heart wrenching sob, and Shisui was quick on his feet to go embrace the boy, on his knees and pressing the still body to his own.

He hadn't seen Itachi like this since that day when things went wrong.

Itachi was trying to hold back, but it made his shivers and sobs more so intense, and Shisui was trying his best to make Itachi feel comfortable.

“Hey, what happened?” Shisui asked.

“I killed them,” Itachi whispered, barely audible, and without hesitation.

Shisui chewed on his lips. Itachi didn't discuss his missions openly, so Shisui could only guess this was Itachi's first time.

“It's-”

“Am I like the ones who killed my parents?” Itachi continued, a little louder this time, and Shisui felt a shiver run up his spine and make the hair in his nape stand up.

He had no answer to that.

“We don't know who killed your parents, or why,” Shisui reassured, even though he had to cringe inwardly.

He knew why, and he knew one person involved.

Well, it was no time to bring that up now.

His shirt was no soaking wet, and he stroked the damp hair of Itachi for a while before he got up.

“Go on, get dressed, I'll clean this up,” Shisui said, and Itachi watched him for a moment before he scurried out of the room, water dripping behind him.

Shisui took his time to carefully rid the attire of any traces of blood – for Itachi's sake.

By the time he was done, he found Itachi fully dressed, feet dangling off the edge of his bed.

“You hungry?” Shisui asked, but Itachi kept staring at the floor and shook his neck.

_Great, cranky Itachi is back._

In fact, Itachi had started to resemble his old self, but now it was as if all progress had vanished. Shisui sighed and walked up to the boy, sitting down by the edge of the bed.

He was no expert talker, but he could at least try and divert Itachi's attention.

“Sasuke was pretty excited for his first day,” Shisui smiled, but he could only frown when Itachi's head sunk further down.

“...Was he upset I wasn't there?”

_Oh._

“I don't know, he was probably too excited to think about it.”

He watched Itachi fidget with his hands for a moment, absolutely unsure what to say this time. Well, he could always divert again.

“I'll make something to eat, you can't starve yourself.”

Well, that only earned him silence, so he supposed Itachi had given consent.

“I deserve it.”

Shisui would live his life a lot easier if he had somewhere along learned how to talk to grumpy Itachis.

 

      Shisui stood outside the academy amongst countless of parents, waiting for the new ninjas to be to come.

He tried not to worry about Itachi too much, to not let his mood ruin Sasuke's.

The academy definitely brought back tons of memories in Shisui, and well, he slightly missed the carefree days back then.

Soon the yard was filled with kids, and tons of noise, and Shisui had to dig through the crowd to find Sasuke.

Sasuke didn't seem to mingle with the other kids, but it didn't surprise Shisui. Sasuke was Itachi's brother, after all.

“Shisui-nii, piggy back me home.”

“I see, one day at the academy and you're a man already,” Shisui joked, but Sasuke apparently had no clue what Shisui was talking about and only blinked.

Shisui sighed, gave in and got down so the boy could climb his back, and Shisui carried them away from the crowd, on their way home.

“So, how was it?”

“They only gave us these papers,” Sasuke mumbled, and handed Shisui the application for the academy, trying not to drop the boy in process.

“Oh,” Shisui exclaimed. He remembered less of the academy than he thought.

“Is nii-san back yet,” Sasuke asked, not keeping still as he clung to Shisui. 

“Yeah, he's resting now.” 

Sasuke didn't say anything, but Shisui didn't worry about it too much as he was preoccupied with another feeling.

Where they being followed?

Whatever it was, it had a huge chakra.

He couldn't help his thoughts wander wildly, and immediately suspected Danzou.

Had that old man sent spies after him?

And as he thought about Danzou, he started to realize that whatever Itachi had been through earlier, was definitely not something he should have gone through regarding the level of mission he had been on.

Shisui would definitely have to discuss this with Danzou, even though he dreaded going there to _gossip_ with the old man.

Shisui couldn't resist looking behind him, and as he did he felt even more so confused.

There was no root soldiers hidden from view, no threatening ninja, instead a blond kid in Sasuke's age stood there, in an impish but shy manner.

Shisui knew who it was, it was the kyuubi kid. He didn't know much, but he'd heard a lot around the village.

He knew how much trouble this kid got into, and he felt slightly protective over Sasuke.

He didn't think twice as he sunshined away in a heartbeat.

When they reached home, Sasuke started to struggle and Shisui let him down, watching the boy run in and call for his brother, application form in his hand.

Shisui followed, and both of them were confused for a moment when there was no greet.

Shisui saw that Itachi's food was left untouched. 

“Oh for crying out loud,” he groaned, hand rubbing his temple. He thought the days of Itachi's hide and seek were over, but apparently not.

“You wait here, I'll go get him.”

Shisui wasted no seconds in getting to the training grounds in the woods that Itachi always liked to hide out in.

It was slightly awkward that Itachi was behaving more childishly than Sasuke, but Shisui let it be.

All Shisui had to do was make sure Itachi was safe, and hopefully things would sort themselves out.

He did find Itachi, but surprisingly, he wasn't training like Shisui had expected him to.

“Itachi,” he calmly announced his presence, and Itachi didn't seem affected at all, sitting down by a tree.

“Let's spar.”

“Huh?" 

“I want to spar.” 

“No,” Shisui blurted out, really taken aback by Itachi's demand. _Why now?_

“We haven't sparred in a year,” the boy bit, and Shisui in a split of a second struck out his fist.

Not very quick or with force, controlled enough to let it stop right before Itachi's face.

Itachi should have seen it coming, more now that it was a slower one. But instead Itachi's gaze went down as he blinked at the fist in front of his face.

“If we were sparring I would have hit you square in the face.”

“ _And_?” the boy, who seemed to be challenging Shisui's patience, deadpanned.

Shisui wasn't sure he remembered Itachi being like this at all.

“I don't want to do that, not when you're like this,” Shisui defended, but Itachi's eyes were definitely challenging him now.

“Like what?”

“Lost in your thoughts,” Shisui said, his fist turning into a helping hand as he offered it to Itachi. “Now come, let's go home, or I'll drag you. Your brother's looking for you.”

Itachi, unlike Shisui had expected, accepted the hand and willingly followed back.

And during night, when Itachi was curled up, snaked in between Shisui's arms, trembling with fear, Shisui went through a wave of deja vu.

 It was the exact same protectiveness and anger that had risen through him about a year ago.

 


End file.
